Talking to Kids About Drugs

As an emergency room doctor and medical toxicologist, I come across the effects of drug and alcohol use every day at my workplace鈥he hospital. The 18 year old who took Ecstasy for the first time at a nightclub and now thinks she鈥檚 having a heart attack. The 21 year old who tried snorting 鈥淥xy鈥 and died from fentanyl poisoning. The 15 year old who smoked a joint because Snoop Dogg said it was cool and now thinks that 鈥渓ittle green men鈥 are coming to get him.
Recently I was consulted on a 21 year old male who had taken some drugs at a house party that had contained fentanyl, a drug that is almost 100 times more toxic than morphine. His mother, father, and sister were in the intensive care unit at his bedside, watching him being kept alive on a breathing machine, hooked up to IV鈥檚, and laying unconscious. The family was in tears, hoping he would wake up. As a physician and as a dad, these scenes are unfortunately all too common.
I have a 12 year old daughter and a 9 year old son. Parenting is hard work, there鈥檚 no doubt about it. My wife and I do our best to be involved in their school lives, cheer them on during activities, and keep them safe. But what about when they start going to parties or clubs when they鈥檙e older? How can I be sure that I鈥檝e given them the tools to make smart choices about alcohol and drugs? How do I begin the discussion with my kids about this?
Well, the first thing is to start early, even as early as kindergarten. Yes, kindergarten! Now, of course the discussion you have with a five year old is very different from that聽with a 15 year old, but the sooner your children understand the importance of choosing wisely, the better off they鈥檒l be in the long run.
Here are a few other tips that might be helpful for you to begin the discussion with your own child:
-聽Stay calm. Remember, you are the parent and you are in charge.
-聽Try speaking to your child side by side instead of face to face; it may seem less threatening that way.
-聽Use facts, not emotions, and avoid saying everything all at once. Less is more!
-聽Use the news. Fortunately (or unfortunately) there is no shortage of stories about drugs on TV, the newspaper, or the internet? Need proof? Just type in 鈥渄rug stories鈥 on your favorite search engine and see how many hits you get. Use stories, current events, or discussions on school life as an opportunity to ask them for their opinion on it. 鈥淲hat did you think about that?鈥 might be one way to open up the discussion.
-聽Be a good listener. Give them room to participate and ask questions. Respect their opinion.
-聽Don鈥檛 preach. Kids are more likely to be turned off the message if they think you鈥檙e preaching from the pulpit.
-聽Remember to tell your child that you love them and you鈥檙e concerned about them.
-聽And finally, you will have this discussion many times. Mini-conversations are better than long boring ones!
If you think your child might be using drugs, Health Canada鈥檚 Drug Prevention website offers some things to watch for:
-聽Changes in friends
-聽Negative changes in schoolwork, missing school, or declining grades
-聽Use of incense, room deodorant, or perfume to hide smoke or chemical odors
-聽Subtle changes in conversations with friends, e.g. more secretive, using 鈥渃oded鈥 language
-聽Increase in borrowing money
-聽Evidence of drug paraphernalia such as pipes, rolling papers, etc.
-聽Evidence of use of inhalant products (such as hairspray, nail polish, correction fluid, common household products); Rags and paper bags are sometimes used as accessories
-聽New use of mouthwash or breath mints to cover up the smell of alcohol
-聽Missing prescription drugs
I realize that having discussions with your kids about subjects like drugs, alcohol and sex may be uncomfortable, but it鈥檚 important that they learn it from you as a parent. After all, when they鈥檙e faced with these tough decisions later in life, do you want them to hear your voice telling them to be safe or the voice of their favorite rapper or movie star telling them there鈥檚 no harm in doing it?
Comment below: How are you going to begin the discussion with your children about alcohol and drugs?
Resources:
Health Canada Drug Prevention -
Partnership for a Drug Free Canada -